The University of North Texas conducted one of the first studies in the effects of self-esteem and dating apps- using Tinder as their research app. The researchers surveyed 1,044 females and 273 males to try to find out what effect Tinder was having on psychosocial well-being.
The researchers found a direct correlation between app-use and self-worth issues like negative body satisfaction, unfavorable self-comparisons to other people, internalising of perceived cultural beauty standards, feelings of shame about their own bodies. This was prevalent in both genders but what surprised the researchers was that, in terms of self-esteem, men using the app had significantly lower self-esteem than the women using it on the study.
IS ONLINE DATING MAKING US MORE FUSSY AND JUDGMENTAL?
In a survey carried out by *Censuswide where 52% of online daters admitted that the use of dating apps has led them to be more judgmental of people’s looks, with many people placing high importance on aesthetics when selecting a person. They found that using smartphones to “swipe right” if you like somebody’s profile picture and swiping left to pass, puts the attractiveness of the individual’s photo above any character attributes, to the detriment of the psychosocial well-being for all parties concerned.
I have met a man who I would consider to be fundamentally a good looking guy, (yes I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder) but he tells a story of having connected with a woman online. He felt they had a real connection going until he was able to get his photo up online. Then all communication from her stopped and she started ghosting him and when he asked her why, she said “just leave me alone”, and when he said, “but we were getting along so well”, she replied “but you didn’t have your photo up then”. He was stunned and left feeling very unattractive. Just another example of how online dating is making people fussy and judgmental.
We are dealing with fellow human beings who are all trying to avoid rejection and hurt just like you are. Let’s be kind to people and remember our values whilst we are using these apps, that’s how we would all like to be treated. I know from my years as a therapist, that it does not matter how good-looking some people are – it doesn’t mean that they don’t have their own struggles going on. Often it is about self-worth.
